Archive for the Rage and rave Category

The Death of SARCASM

Posted in Rage and rave on July 17, 2014 by soul93

Silent Observer

*gasps*

Yes so the inevitable has happened…or more so, begun to happen. Yes. Sarcasm is dying because in simple words, idiots are taking over everything. Including sarcasm. And that is—ironical?

Little girls in pink pony tails will now be seen going on yapping about their Instagram food photos and putting *witty* things as captions and thinking to themselves that this here is the new and somewhat improved example of sarc-wait for it-ass-um!

Silly little insensitive boys will say meaningless things about other meaningless people and challenge themselves into thinking that they are good at something, apart from being total losers and that is sarcasm. Which is apparently so shockingly absurd that one actually starts believing them and THUS ladies and gentlemen–THE DEATH OF THE LITTLE BIRD WITH HARDCORE SHIT CALLED SARCASM.

Let us all mourn the death with tears because c’mon this one is actually sad. Because it entails that…

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The Upcoming-Has-Been-Happened Zombie Apocalypse

Posted in Rage and rave on May 1, 2013 by soul93

The Irrefutable Opinion

ZombiesM

For anyone who doesn’t follow the news, the world ended about six months ago.  At least it was scheduled to.  On the winter solstice of the year 2012 there was a large and unintelligible hubbub regarding the end of the Mayan calendar, some interpretations calling for the end of days (or something to that effect).

Of course everyone had a different way of coping with the coming of the implosion of the world as we know it.  Some prayed.  Some went on spending sprees and engaged in orgies.  Others outfitted themselves with Kevlar suits, strapped AR15s to their backs, and wrapped a belt of hand grenades and flash-bangs around their waists, preparing for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

This, of course, was all in vain.  Not so much because the world didn’t end, but more so because, if I have learned anything from popular culture, you cannot prepare for a zombie…

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I’m Not Beautiful. And That’s Fine by Me.

Posted in Rage and rave on April 30, 2013 by soul93

Not Taken, Not Available

Two weeks ago, I got my hair trimmed, layered in the front, and blow-dried in such a way that it actually looked pretty good. I know it must have looked all right, because my grandmother, with whom I was dining that night, said, “Oh, my! Don’t you look beautiful!”

I tried unsuccessfully to brush wispy bangs out of my eye and replied with a grimace, “Take it in while you can, Grandma, because this is the last time it’s going to look this good until the next time I have to get it trimmed.”

Still, the next time I saw her, she exclaimed in disappointment, “What happened to your bangs? They looked so nice!”

I shrugged. “I went with the wash-and-wait-for-Denver’s-dry-climate-to-air-dry-it look, Grandma. And besides, they were getting in my eyes. I like ’em a lot better pulled back with the rest of this mop.”

Alas for my grandmother, who…

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Of Passport Size Photos..and Me!

Posted in Rage and rave on October 3, 2012 by soul93

I would wear the nicest of clothes. And make my face up in a pretty presentable way. I will do my hair in a nice way too. And then i will sit in front of the camera. The nice photographer will tell me to smile. I will. I must. I am given no other choice. A flash of light, blinding light if i may, and another. The nice photographer will then tell me that it is done.

Then finally the photograph will come out.

And then…and then.

A horror story will begin. No matter how hard i try…and how many times i do so. such photographs in which i am supposed to look presentable and well..’official’ i always end up looking like a dud. A horror story. A freak and messed up!

And not that i have any problem with that…but c’mon i am a nice person who should have nice looking photos. I have every right to look presentable.

The blue background is not a problem at all. But the face in front of it is not up to what i had in mind. Every time i sit on the bench and the light flashes…a very pleasant image comes to my mind.

I always think that it will be of a person with nice hair and a pretty smile…a face which makes a wild heart race….or a steady heart beat with affection. Which makes people go wild in the knees if not that. And if not even that then at least it should be pleasant enough that people can flirt away with you.

And what comes out..is a picture of a savage looking person. The eye bags clearly showing…more like a ruffian. Lips twisted into a heinous smile. Eyes ..drunk. Nose..never mind.

The nice man who edits the picture asks me if it is okay…and i sadly nod. Too overcome by an unknown emotion. And slowly i walk away.

 

The MIDDLE FINGER Syndrome.

Posted in Brick, Rage and rave with tags , , , on July 6, 2012 by soul93

The first time i got to know the importance of showing people your middle finger..was a long time ago. And since then i have been a part of this ritual. Now i have gotten this disease that wont go away. Yes the MIDDLE FINGER syndrome.

BUT unlike many other such diseases and (or) disorders that wont go away this one is not so bad. Releases feelings of utter satisfaction, sarcasm, bitchiness and pure rage.

It is more than a good feeling. It is like you conquered something. You know that feeling right. Poor old Amelia after getting dumped by the mister goody pants and after long hours of self pain finally shoved a middle finger up his a**. And since that day she is leading a much better life. She got a job offer at a nice place where she gets to show her middle finger to many people at one time. Ahh the life of luxury.

But that is just one Amelia i talk of. I have seen that man, that awesome (note that awesome is just an understatement here) man who has a tattoo of his middle finger on his forehead and he walks around. No one dares to mess with his. No he is not our local punk but he does keep local punks at bay.

I will tell you something. It is our responsibility to keep hooligans and big shot nobody’s and scumbag douches at bay. Vocals can be good enough but what really pisses ANYONE off is the action. Of thy middle finger.

After all actions do scream and words just whisper.

I mean you are just going, minding your own business and some random egg head shoves you or calls you something even his mommy should not have. And that feeling of aggression and and ecstasy you get when you show them the MF is out of this universe.

Many a times i want to just keep my middle finger up because the world’s just worth that.

I mean after all that is what silly old Helen did. I heard this phrase from her more often, ‘ SUCK ON THIS *shows her MF* and die*. And trust me she had inner peace.

So yes people, MF syndrome is just as good as it gets. After all we got that finger for a reason and now we all know why.

Well hello there. Howdy do.

Time

Posted in Rage and rave on June 21, 2012 by soul93

On WANTING Space!

Posted in Rage and rave with tags , , on June 21, 2012 by soul93

Life is a complicated bozo. And what is more annoying…are sometimes the people around you. I mean they are fine one minute..and all just ****ed up the next moment.

And they make you look like one too.

People it is not wrong to want space. It is not wrong to need space.

But why don’t i get any then? :/

Yes it becomes torturous most of the time. And i know there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way.

I am a box. A 3D box who is  multidimensional from within and it gets hard.

It gets tough. It would be wrong to walk around with a knife..or a gun going on a killing streak when it gets suffocating. And that it gets a LOT.

I sometimes wish i was a transparent balloon floating in the air. And that would be a hell more convenient.

I WANT space. I NEED space. I am a balloon.

Same place i put the rest of it.